FELIX BRENNAN.

Appendix 1. 

In the end result sane people do not commit suicide virtually in front of their children!!!!!!!!! And some of their mothers mental problems seem to  be inherited by the children. 

Chronology;

1959---Married.

1960-1962..London.

1962-1968--Australia.

1968-1969...Separated.(Rosetta refused to move after I had gone ahead to Montreal, a couple of months, and instigated separation, saying I could stay there).(She apparently had a boyfriend already, Ross an Italo-Australian farmer from Bonnyrigg. A member of the same group she went to,and was around right up to the time she died.I knew from Mike who came to Houston in,and told me about it...

Marriage retry only last less than one year..for the kids sake.but staggers on and off into 1971...............(Also occurring this year the Death of Celia).

1971....Separated again and move into own apartment in;

 1.Bondi,60 Edward Street,

with Sam/Greg Skiathitis.  Really a non legalised divorce..

 Then 2.Cammeray with Pascal and then 

3.Oxford Koala Apt...( used to visit the kids on Sundays, and the older girls visited me at the apartment as well for a meal treat and swimming pool).

1973....August ,Re-Marry.

1975....Gold Coast.

1977, Onwards...Vancouver..Sydney and Brisbane...Vancouver.1984.BRISBANE 1986, BC CANADA.(FLORIDA 2013-2018,OPERATION FOR BOWEL CANCER AUSTRALIA 2020.}..

/Rosetta had talked about suicide for many years as far back as 1964/65, but I was in ignorance about all the reasons.  I always remember her comments on a movie, in which somebody suicided and she said to me...' people like me end up doing that'. I queried what she meant...in 'people like her', but she didn't answer.

Rosetta was resentful and jealous of my lifestyle, not me per se, and I knew that. She was in a trap of her own making she felt.

Grief can last days or weeks/months but jealousy and resentments can last a lifetime.That's because jealousy and resentment are secondary emotions. They cover up or replace the primary ones which are indeed short; Usually because of lack of counseling or ability to come go grips with the reality.Also when people make another suffer it is because they suffer and the suffering is spilling over-they need help.Grief itself is a personal thing and doesn't represent the amount of love that person had for the person they are grieving over.By being resistant to the facts the older kids took on a process that they were not equipped, as children, to perform. So it all turned to the negative for the only action was to destroy, the only power was to cause disunity and dissension amongst the siblings.This destroyed the happy lives of some siblings and alienated the rest-----------the ego ruled supreme...

Being angry, as a response to ignorance just gives people a space in my head rent free, and it is all illusion and futility anyway.

Family is not always blood. It is the people in life that want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are, the ones who would do anything to see you smile and who love you no matter what..Spiritually thinking blogspot.

Also I had not been living at Rosetta's for two years, since 1971, and this was our second separation, or non legalised divorce.

( First being two years , instigated, and initiated by by Rosetta,who called me and told me I could stay there).The girls had visited my downtown apartment, cum office, to use the facilities and swimming pool from time to time...Even though I had a large above ground pool installed at Rosetta's house as well.Plus all the modern washing machine and freezer plus plan....

One has to understand that our marriage was a shotgun and that we were not married in the normal sense of the word. Our parents should not have approved as at 17 we were too young.  We both had relations outside the marriage and the only glue was the children really....I was aware of some of Rosetta's affairs and at least one steady boyfriend, Ross, and there is no point in putting up names, and she was aware of my liasons and girlfriends and she had met and seen some from time to time. Sometimes downtown when I was out with my friends and we would run into her and her friends. On other occasions myself and a girlfriend had given Rosetta and her friends lifts into town. So essentially there was nothing to end...We were both fully aware of the situation from the start. A few she had met out at her house when I dropped in to see the kids, and some she knew independently...and had met them at different times.    So there was a disconnect in the belief system, delusions, and the facts amongst some of the children, that the situation was idyllic, that their mother was not mentally ill and that they lived in a  large house.

This is because they were pre teen children at the time and much would have gone over their head without a point of reference or adult maturity. And also that it was Rosetta ,who caused the separation, by refusing to join me in Canada and telling me to stay there as we were finished. Which was the truth but telling the kids that I deserted them was a very damaging lie...They couldn't remember lodgers that we had never mind any other people coming, including Rosetta's friends who regularly slept over....unless they get them from this book.

Family split into offside and then the rest.

(Rosetta suffered from a (Bi-Polar type and borderline schizoid ,personality disorder--.Her medication was chlorpromizine and other anti-psychotics).The children also suffered from ATTACHMENT DISORDER DUE TO NEGLECT IN THE EARLY THREE YEARS.PARTICULARLY..

 The main problem in the end was that the oldest children,'Jackie'and 'Stella', could not believe that their mother was mentally ill and had been hospitalised at age 15. Like myself they had no point of reference, all I knew was that she had had a nervous beakdown at fifteen and was depressed. Plus she had been attended therapy groups secretly, since she was 15 years of age and never admitted these visits to me. She always said she was going to a 'woman's doctor', Also her family members were ill, such as aunts, grandmothers, and Uncle Jack who committed suicide and the oldest girl was named after him; Some had been institutionalised.

Her boyfriend Ross and Carole across the road were members of some type of therapy group that she was in.  I sometimes came across heavy psychiatric prescription drugs, chlorpromazine,largatil, etc, and asked her about them, and she just said they were headache pills. Apparently she was not taking them as the bottles were full. This resulted in a great delusion being raised and a lot of displacement taking place... It infected the younger children and seriously damaged them.(My eldest son was attacked by these older girls as he was there and put the lie to their jealous and resentful delusions).

 The resentment, suppressed grief and jealousy of the Older girls causes them to attack their own family....and negatively affect even the younger ones in the blended family..Nothing gained, nothing positive just purely destructive and sick behaviour; Which is not surprising considering the genetic inheritance involved in the family. The other problem was that none were tertiary educated or even that bright but very average.

(Jean took on eight kids and added two of her own making a total of ten, at 20 years of age!!!!)

See Note 1* below!

    One of the most difficult times was adjusting to the new life. The older girls, (the oldest was almost twelve), were not blending and bonding with Jean or myself very well. I hadn't anticipated this situation at all, how could have I done? ALSO THE ATTACHMENT DISORDER MEANT THEY HAD NEVER LEARNED HOW TO BOND AT ALL...

     During Rosetta's lifetime the older girls had really been the mothers of the smaller children and the eldest girl had most of the responsibility. So when Jean took over she was seen as a usurper, in some way, and I didn’t know what delusional things had been said to them by their mother. Probably blaming me for everything that was wrong and they then took up the blame game on me after their mother suicided and deserted them thus. Probably blamed me for that as well..They had been totally out of control with their natural mother and lived in unhygienic conditions. However it was their own, developed, life, untidy, dirty neglected or not.

As a Social Worker said to me many years later, ‘It was shit but it was their shit’.

       The eldest girl,, felt she was the lady of the house now and told me so.

(ATTACHMENT DISORDER AGAIN-Attachment disorder .

 "Now that she is dead I am the lady of the house now, and you can take me on your business trips." This of course shocked me and it set the course for the impossibility of Jean being able to blend the family or even handle the two big girls,  never mind the one who was schizophrenic. I also think this was a child's way of saying that she had in fact been the mother for the last few years anyway and she didn't want to her position usurped. I don't think it was any denigration of her late mother, but was essentially resentful).  

This is all hindsight of course for I didn't understand it at the time. (The second oldest was completely deluded to the entire situation and had a fantasy approach, although she did ask if she could call Jean 'Mum', two months after she took over, but she succembed in her way to the bad influences also). For it brought jealousy and resentment into the equation of grief. And we don't know what delusional, resentful, stories were told to the girls by Rosetta before she killed herself. In fact as time went on the fact that they had been neglected, that they didn't even clean their teeth escaped them. The little fibro cottage became,"a big house,"in their minds, well these days the land was quite sufficient, and their mother became an idyllic maternal figure, instead of a mentally ill depressed person with all the highs, lows and symptomatic pathological behaviours, ( they could google-earth it if they really wanted to), Also Rosetta had some 'intellectual  problems', which was also no doubt genetic. So Jean had this incredible fantasy to deal with, so did I. The fact that Rosetta really couldn't cope and felt tied down by the children also escaped them. I don't think they believed she was mentally ill until their own sister was diagnosed’; Plus I never knew what deluded things Rosetta had said to the girls before she died, setting it all up for the future.

As she was deluded - I worked mostly double shifts all my life so she may have just told them he doesn't come home as he is working.. So this left everything to fall on to me and my latest and last girlfriend when she committed suicide and left them. ( How she explained her so called ex, Ross coming around though, I don't know).

They had to blame somebody and unfortunately blamed the wrong people....and caused themselves, their siblings and everybody else a lot of  misery...Later in lifeJean developed Bronchiastasis ,but not acute, from smoking too much when trying to negotiate the stress of recalcitrant, ungrateful children..

As without a reference point and understanding delusion can be taken as truth----hard for a child to do--impossible in fact. In fact for all their lives they only believed that she had post partem depression and there was no genetics involved, even thought the family history proved otherwise.

Most unfortunately recently, there have been some untrue stories circulating, from people who don't know, even from a couple of children of the girls, ( see grandchildren 10,11, on Home page),who have their own completely separate issues. (These issues with their own parents or fathers, and drugs, sexuality and alcohol and absences, seemingly were transferred or displaced on to me as well, and they don't even know me.

Especially by Siobhan Huttika, who was having the usual young adult orientation problems and seemed to displace this angry confusion outwards. She felt pushed out by her mother leaving her with her oldest aunt and she was unhappy with her father...So she jumped in between another grandchild and myself and caused trouble all around, ,with rudeness and untruths, all leading back to her mother and her aunt).  She also had some emotional problems as she was deciding her sexual status, but now she is married to her girlfriend and perhaps has settled down...

For example; That I brought girls to Rosetta's house, which was true, twice, after over a year of being separate, when I was out that way sometimes!!!!!!   And I never did this by surprise Rosetta always knew. The two were actually employees, I was not involved with at all,at that time,  and one came with her boyfriend, an Irish lad,  It was not in the way the girls were narrating the idylic situation. One time I took a girl sales trainer/manager, out there when she was sick and we were out that way, but I cleared that with Rosetta first .And I even gave Rosetta and her male friends , a ride to town. As it was a solid fact we were separated, and had been for some time, since I moved in with Sam Skiathitis in the Bondi Apt,. 1971 So, sadly, I have been forced, with extreme reluctance, to reveal things about myself and Rosetta that I had kept secret for almost, 40 years, and 50+ years . In fact I was willing to keep quiet for one generation but when another generation, who know nothing started repeating the same lies and delusions, I had to step in; For the sake of others who also were infected ,as I have no interest in myself and the futilities of human existence. Perhaps I should have revealed all from 50 plus years ago many years ago and saved some problems and misunderstandings. However the attack on what they perceived to be the more vulnerable members of the family and the deliberate deprivation of grand-children  left me no choice but to put the record straight in the face of such practised delusional malice..........jealousy and resentment . 

Brigid /Patricia also helped her older sister Heidi Australian Passport and as soon as Heidi had it she started to tell Brigid Patricia the usual deluded false memories and lies handed down by the older girls, but Brigid told her to shut up. So we were not so unpopular that we can be used apparently.....

Their biggest problem of course was that I cared but was not concerned about them and put it all down to karma...This inability to hurt me seemed to enrage them.  Really trying to move people over to the 'Dark Side' of jealousy, delusion, untruths, attacks, malice, loss, viciousness, neurosis, mental illness and using incentives as well. A real pity and apparently the cartwheel is so broken that one has to face the fact it cannot be fixed again. So the family is split in half almost..with some siblings getting on with their lives and others worried about delusions from the past and biting their own rears...

There is much much more but I would prefer to keep it to myself, for the time being, but it all reflects the results of the symptoms of mental afflictions.

Most don't like the truth but if it it isn't told then destructive events can go down the generations, in fact two deaths can be attributed to the symptoms. No doubt I won't win any popularity polls for exposing it. Especially amongst those that are embarrassed or have limited understanding, and awareness. Some may say I am denigrating memories but there is nothing more denigrating than two deaths.

     The real problems didn't start until the older girls were well into their teens and were attending High School. This school was an incredibly bad influence on them, for they had only known Primary and Australian High Schools, in Queensland. They had never experienced this kind of "child-adult", environment and were being influenced by their deluded peers, all the wrong things. When you combine this with the other children's problems, it was a nightmare. The real problem was that they were not allowed to do what they wanted to. They were used to having nobody watch over them and guide them, and mistook this for care and freedom. Poor Annabelle was getting up at 6 a.m. and going to bed at midnight ,washing nappies and all the other things that needed to be done. I tried to hire some part time help but it was even too much for them.

       Also at this time Jean was taking one child, Siobhan, to speech therapy, for she had very bad speech problems.Jean had done a great job by herself; for when Jean took over, she could only say "here Ya" but could imitate a bark like a dog, for they were her daily company. At two and a half years of age, she had spent a lot time in the yard playing for that was the only way Rosetta could cope with her. With some very limited therapy and a lot of work from Jean, she talked at six and a half years of age, however she was probably suffering from ‘Attention Disorder’, or some other kind of attention deficit.  The same fate would no doubt have happened to Brigid if Jean hadn't stepped in. The two boys, Dan and Brian, were not much trouble at all though, and ended up doing very well, except for the fact that they had some early learning problems,not helped by the fact he didn't like to go to school. In fact in Vancouver, Heidi, Brian and Dan were in a special need class for slow learners, and Siobhan went to a special school altogether.(Dan was instilled by Jean with the work ethic and this stood him in great stead as he ended up owning millions in property) This could have been environmental or genetic or a mixture of both. One boy, Brian, did leave home at 17, years because he didn’t want to go to Trade, (I later learned it was he was afraid that I would learn about some of his inappropriate behaviour), School. He left and went to Brisbane staying with an old drunk fellow named John, who lived in a house full of under age children and plenty of beer.?? No Trade School here, just do as you want school.) Brian was rather abusive to his younger siblings as well and on two occasions we caught him putting a pillow over the face of his younger brother. Why he behaved like this and for what reason, we'll probably never know. However I did find out years later and it was more shocking than I could imagine..The inappropriate behaviour.

       One of the older girls behaviourwas also getting pretty wild. (She later was diagnosed as manic depressive paranoid schizophrenic plus she had personality problems as well. Her medication was Lithium for years.)The girls were sneaking out of the windows after midnight and going to pool-halls and other things. I tried to restrain this  behaviour by discipline, which had no affect at all and then along came boys. It started with the older girls leaving home. This actually created some peace for a while and I thought things would work out. For the younger children had blended maternal identities and therefore there was no resistance; plus the fact we moved also helped.

     After a couple of years I made the first of a series of mistakes in discrimination. Instead of leaving the family as it was, I decided to try and reintroduce the older girls. This was a well intentioned move but ended up in a permanent problem.

The older girl,  forcefully reminded the younger ones, especially Heidi, who at this stage was in fact happy, that they didn't know Jean wasn't their real mother.
And so any memories they had were mostly false implanted by the  older girls, one of whom was schizophrenic. There was a lot of delusion around, enough to do 10 Dr Phil shows....

Jackie pulled her into the bathroom at Nanas  the  day we were back, from Australia, and said to her...'Why are you being nice to her that woman she is not your mother' She was only four when her biological mother killed herself, so in fact had forgotten her, completely and was really happy with Jean. (I have several pics showing the before and after attitude change, which became disastrous).THIS STARTED THE ROT AND WITH INTERFERENCE FROM MY SISTERS IT DID NOT HELP...

The older girls were infuriated at the continuing successful blending of the family and so stepped up their misguided attacks, which only hurt their siblings and the rest of us....They in fact helped to damage people's lives, most of which seem irreparable at this point in time. ( If I had drawn the line when we went to Australia in we would have saved a lot of pain and trouble for the children and anyone, and we would have been better to stay there. However I thought we could unite the family and had no idea that the older girls had moved into a destructive attack and resentful mode, and where prepared to even attack the total family with their sick poison.Also my sister was communicating with these recalcitrant ones from time to time, which gave them so support,,.

PHOTOS.

Also my sister sending them photos of their biological mother, without reference to me was extremely destructive, as it turned a rumour of somebody they didn't know into a fact.  (Later she Heidi, tatooed 'Rosetta' on her wrist and believed all the fantasies and malicious stuff from her older sister, who had not done her any favours, she even named one of her children after the deceased , which is an obsessive thing to do...Never mind that all the Rosetta's in the family had been mentally ill, and it was outside of Irish traditions,. not that it bothered me anyway). What is good about making a happy child unhappy for your own selfish resentments...

They encouraged them to misbehave and later to try join them. So the whole blending process came undone, which was a tragedy, for the children had more or less forgotten that Jean wasn't their birth-mother. And this behaviour on behalf of the older girl was completely vindictive, self-serving, with no regard for the well being of the younger children. We had not bothered to tell the younger ones that Jean wasn't their birth mother, and we decided to keep the knowledge until they were old enough and mature enough to handle it. What would be the point of pointing out that the  mother they knew wasn't their biological mother and that their biological mother was mentally ill, and had deserted them by committing suicide----that would not help anybody. A few of the children had their own personality and mental problems as well, due to the genetics and this did not help the situation.

    This did them no favours and it affected the entire family. The local Social Workers were no help either, they obviously had no idea how to raise so many children, and seemed to encourage problems instead of help solve them. My daughter Michelle, with the mental problems still has episodes from time to time and is hospitalised occasionally.Jean was there for her also, looking after her child, and visiting her in the Riverview mental hospital. (Also later due to drugs and other stuff at her father's house we fostered her for a couple of years, and had to be vetted by Social Services and have RCMP Police Reports, before this could be done).

(They even attacked kids who was not even born, .This was a concerted effort that went on from the time one girl was sixteen  years of age and carried on until one girl was in her late thirties, Heidi and Stella the second oldest girl were actively involved...It was mostly delusion and false memories and misunderstanding anyway...

FALSE MEMORIES ARE WHERE THE NEURONS FIRING ON THE MINDS BEHALF IMPRINTS A FALSE MEMORY IS IT IS REPEATED..IN OTHER WORDS IT REMEMBERS THE FIRST FALSE MEMORY AS A MEMORY NOT THE TRUE FACTS....

(My sister Maureen  later entertaining their ideas and 'helping' -do gooding ego, with problem children and talking to them, and sending pics, she got from my other sister, Therese after I told her it was not helpful...gave them some misguided justification for their actions, just by talking to them... More than likely judgementalism, of some kind and a need to be in control. I don't know quite why she decided to take this route of action and it may be down to some stresses she was going through in her own life., or just the 'do gooder' syndrome.She has had sustained anxiety episodes where she took  to her bed...sort of 'anxiety neurosis', which runs in the female side of the family as  my mother also had it. For she knew from her own boyfriend Goeff Berry  who also went out with Rose twice previously that she was ill). --------So why she continually interfered I don't know...perhaps she was trying to help in retrospect, as she did not , or could not help  in the first place. The photos were not helpful to the younger children who had no idea they had a previous biological mother and I do not know why Henrietta felt it was her right to interfere and contribute to the problems the kids already had----..Ego I suppose. (So my sisters interfered, even after Maureen's death Therese continued to interfere with the advantage of social media making it more injurious).(.This also included by brother Paul, who had problems in his own family then interfering in mine.) none of my siblings had a tertiary educationand here they all were advising on advanced psychology. ..The fact she,   told the kids that she had offered to take them all at Rosetta's death, which was an outright lie as she offered only to take the three oldest, also didn't help. ( It was an offer they knew i would refuse). I asked her husband about this later and he confirmed that was the offer.....an offer that would be obviously refused of course.......She also told my kids I turned her down,( an offer that was obviously to be refused), on the whole family which didn't help either. For this lie gave the kids more ammunition to use on Jean...

     The family is scattered between Australia and Canada and some we keep contact with and some we don't. We see some grandchildren and not others, but it is better that way. It took a long time but it eventually penetrated my mind that "putting everyone together", was actually doing the opposite in the long run. So I had to discriminate between Love and Attachment and act accordingly, in order to be fair to the younger ones. My vow to keep the family together was a two-edged sword, yes they knew each other but great damage was done as well. It seems sometimes one has to cut one's losses to save the rest. We essentially ended up with the family split into two parts, which is really how it was. For there was the original family and then the blended family. Joan should write a book on this to help Social Workers in future! I doubt that family therapy could have worked, even if the children wanted anything to do with it, which they didn't. There were too many Egos involved and too many," axes to grind". Winners created losers, but I forgave them all and put it down to lack of awareness, the human condition, and of course the trauma that they had suffered. The blended family, that Jean raised, turned out with no serious problems at all, which says something. The middle girl, Heidi  seemed to be doing well in school, was a cheerleader and had quite a bit of prestige, and was well dressed and pretty. I even had her get some experience as a receptionist at my work. We had high hopes for her but they were not to be. Unfortunately we let her work at the Stardust skating rink, where she met an older boy-Toivo ‘a complete problem loser apparently’- who was taking her to the beach until 1 or 2 am in the morning. He also introduced her to drinking alcohol, which she had never done at home. In this year, 1985, we had some extremely trying times, especially from the family.  She left home just after her seventeenth birthday and before I got back from Australia.  She essentially wanted to go with her boyfriend and leave school, be unrestricted as to curfews and things like that. (She also gave birth to a baby some months later.) Her older boyfriend ‘This Toivo’ had some responsibility for this as he came from a very abused part Native, background, full of alcoholics, father, stepfather, mother and all. His father actually physically abused him. We found literature on abortion that he had given to her and this alerted us to the situation. Apparently he had been climbing over the lean-to roof to her bedroom.He also introduced her to alcohol and staying out until the early hours. Up to meeting him she had been a cheer-leader and a tryer in school…he destroyed all of that. However this had a bad effect on our fifteen year old girl, for they were quite close.  So a plot was hatched to enable her to leave home, for I of course would not approve.  So one day she was gone and I knew where, so I called up the bigger girls, who would not give me any information. Stella had visited the day before this with her boyfriend Malcolm and he did say to her...'you should tell your father about what is happening', but she just ignored him and carried on. This must have all been planned before I got back, for I had only been back a few weeks.  Anyway we got hold of Social Services and they told us that she would be taken into care.  She would not be allowed to stay with her older sisters.  The Social Worker, a certain Ms Conway, told me that she had interviewed her older sister and believed them both.( She was later dismissed by the Ministry for overeach in another case).  The fifteen year old had learning and developmental problems and the older sister was twenty four years old and a paranoid schizophrenic. Well Mary Conway. said, that she believed them when they told her, that I chased them with an axe on a rope and other fantastic stuff.  All the kids, in the school yard, know what to tell Social Services, if they don't want to return home, their friends know all the tricks.  

(I also with the help of meditation had given up drinking alcohol, sometime before these events....and luckily they didn't cause me to start drinking again.....I never did have a drink again. Even though there were lots of problems to come.  I did go to AA some years later with a friend for a couple of years and learned the 12 steps and all the alibis. Although I didn't need it due to my meditation and spiritual practice).

 Anyway she came with the police to apprehend the other three remaining children. However the police were not convinced that the children were in any danger and decided not to take them.  Mary Conway was protesting and insisting that they all be apprehended but the police were not going along, and told her so.  They had interviewed the three kids separately and got nowhere with them, for there was nowhere to go, in fact had been told not to believe lies. This was traumatic to the three little ones. For they had to carry a quarter for a phone call, in case they were seized. I actually complained to the Premier’s Office at this time, and Mary Conway was fired some years later for similar over-reaching. One of the bigger girls Stella and probably all, obviously knew what was going down but didn't warn me or her siblings about the trauma coming to them the next day. Not much 'right conduct' amongst the siblings.

 (Some years later in Brisbane about 2002,

I was staying with my son DANIEL and his wife ,PETA who had had her own problems, ( her step father killing and eating her pet rabbit didn't help, when she was just a teenager, plus her mother Rose who worked with Dan at the Deli was actively encouraging her to get together with Dan, (I would have done the same),even though she was 'very young'. I think this was to get her out of the house and away from the problems there),  This middle daughter Heidi, took umbrage to it, as she wasn’t allowed to stay. In fact Peta had an apartment lined up for the day that Heidi-Sue arrived, so she only was allowed to stay one day. So she did a repeat and called the Social Welfare on Peta  accusing her of abusing the children. The police and social workers came to the house and had already been up to the kids school. So Peta was lucky they hadn't permanently apprehended them at that time, and allowed them to live at home during the investigation. ( There seemed to be some unresolved emotional and mental issues with Heidi as well, considering her mother's genetics this is not surprising, and this already seemed to have progressed to her daughter).This created a huge problem, and luckily I was there to give evidence that this daughter had done this before in Canada. After several interviews with the Police and Social Workers, they realised it was all a phoney complaint and dropped it.

 (I suggested that they contact the RCMP for information on the first report. When asked why she did this,in 1986-Canada, Heidi Sue said, ’ well I wasn’t going to leave the kids with them’. Actually it turned out she was pregnant and that was the reason to leave home.(At that time the social worker asked me if I would attend family therapy and I said that I would provided the oldest girl got some help first. For I knew that without therapy there would be no solution to the 'agitating source' of the problem. Sadly, this opportunity was missed and that was the last I heard of course).

Also it caused a rift between the two brothers as Brian knew what was going down and didn't warn Dan that the, social services, were going to the school the next day to apprehend the children, which they did. I don't know why this happened, as apparently Brian wasn't doing any reporting. However he did say that they were updating their oldest sisters/Jackie, in Canada on the moving situation...which also caused an upset with Dan. So the eldest girls were involved from a distance ....and when I returned to Canada I asked the second oldest Stella about it and she seemed to think that as she didn't like Peta it was ok to attack her in this way....As I have said ignorance and delusion governs the older girls on these matters..............Even though  HEIDI, Jackie and Stella had stayed at Peta's place in Sydney for months at a time and taken advantage of her largesse, whilst attempting to negatise her on  me with their delusory tales which my son put the lie to, so upsetting their schemes.....There are definately some mental problems here, and no doubt they gave Peta my sister's contacts at this time, which would be no help at all.Luckily the grandmother Rose was a support for Peta, even though she was divorced  or separated and her husband owned his own house...They appeared together to support the kids...

Poor Peta early had a nervous breakdown though, and I think it left a permanent impression on her, as she already had recurring problems. (Another reaction to this original event was when we applied to foster our grandaughter it all came up on files. However the Social Workers investigated it all and decided it was not a problem and was a false complaint. The RCMP had indicated this also, and we got a clear police report. So we fostered Therese, for a couple of years.) The inability to realise that it is the ego at work, "the thief in the palace", believing because one thinks it, it must be so. I did call up from Rockhampton and say I would drop by at about 8 pm and see them. I booked a motel down the street as i had to pick up the other car in the morning...However when i arrived the house was in complete darkness not a light on so i did not bother knocking on the door....and they had my phone number...so obviously i was not welcome...even after all i did to save the kids from being apprehended by the police and children's services.,,? I would have been better staying where I was in Alexandria Brisbane with my wife's friend...I felt i was used to show Heidi why she couldn't stay and that was incorrect, and I loved the kids but did not feel welcome at all...

In the end I had to discriminate, disengage from the problem, and leave it all at  -Life-Force's feet. One does not have to live with people, to love them and some people live their lives in "the repair shop." One of the benefits of this experience for me; is that I now feel that all are my children and that blood bonds are really a trap and an illusion. I suppose the message is that one has a duty to love and care for one's family but not at the expense of the whole human family. Also by doing the," right thing", by today's society may in fact be doing the" wrong thing". You cannot practice what you have never imbibed. Love, and strong guidance that is the key and myself and my first wife didn't know how to give it adequately. By the time I had learned, from my second wife it was too late for the older children. The fact that there were so many children also complicated the situation. I ended up with ten children, living, which is a huge amount. (There are 16+ grandchildren to date. None of the family is lost though, all seemed to have turned out reasonably well. Except for the vindictive behaviour of some of them, from  the general blended family, to us and to their own siblings. It seems that Jean was able to instil enough of an example on how to live properly, in the few years she had with them. The alternative, if Jeam hadn’t have come along, is to bad to contemplate. Whether they all speak to me or not is irrelevant to how they manage their own lives………The negative behaviour and delusions did spill over into the blended family, which is not to be unexpected and there was a concerted effort on behalf of the main protaganists mentioned on the first page of this book, to destroy relationships and cause separations...Just like a dog biting its own arse, and not without some limited success..............The main problem was of course that none of them were very aware ,so acted in a negative way ....The delusions and lies that were repeated in the direct face of concrete evidence was nothing less than astounding to me. And there were many acts of subterfuge, disloyalty, as I have already indicated. The main stalwart of the family was actually Brigid who was extremely devoted and protective of Jean, at this time, in the face of the attacks upon her by the 'less than aware ones'. She was the smartest in the family and had been educated to a tertiary level and held down a responsible position, so  was not affected by lies, delusions, distortions, and subterfuge, and knew them and the perpetrators for what they were. So the agenda of some disturbed people without actual experience of events, to infect and destabilise even the youngest members of the family had no effect on her, although it did almost destroy others and gave them unhappy lives............So the sickness continues based on irrational egos. Maureen thought she had cancer and asked Jean would she take the four kids and Jean said yes . That is the kind of person she is.....

So far in my life all the pain and suffering and attacks do not compare with walking around with a dead nine month old child...nobody can hurt you after that! One has to eventually rise above it all, and detach oneself as I have done.

IfI have to summarise why the family became disfunctional after Rosetta's death...I can only think of the following; Besides major genetic predisposition, which I believe was heavily influencing their behaviours.

1. The eldest girls didn't believe their mother was mentally ill( Said it was post partum depression--I suppose Uncle Jack had that as well?) and refused to let the younger children settle in to the new family situation, plus there was no grief-counseling in those days. Jean approached the social workers and asked for them but they said there was nothing they could do as there were no grief counselors, at that time---1973. There was also resentment and jealousy towards Jean, and malicious attacks on their own siblings, and others.  Also there was displacement of unresolved grief and anger..However I think the lack of grief counseling was a major cause of the dissension. Australia was not as equipped as it was later, to deal with social issues as there was no National Health Scheme until late 1973/4 or so, when the ALP won the election. So as a result people had to pay for everything themselves and consequently the system and infrastructure was not built up very well.I was thousands and thousands of dollars in debt to the doctors and hospitals, which was a burden.So most social welfare programmes were not available and the private section was limited--( basic pay was 15 pound average was about 20 pound, and doctors charged 7 pound a visit-50% of basic wage)--And I of course had no idea that grief counseling was even necessary, as I had not heard of it. So the non-bonding, behaviour in the family can no doubt be directly traced to this situation.

Secondarily to this:-The Photo-DISASTER.

Family member MAUREEN AND THERESE sends to one of the family..without consulting me.......As it would end up with the younger ones.................

Not the main reason by far- for problems, but an additional time bomb, And the fall-out didn't start until,later around mid 80s- 1991 or shortly before was the worst....and escalated from there to the next generation. Even as late as August 2012 it arose again!!!!!!!at the grandchild level, which was a huge disappointment to us.   At one point we had some grandchildren telling others that Jean was not their grandmother and they had a picture of the 'real one'..Now this pic has been sent to other grandchildren some of whom are very young. So now there is a problem mixing with other grandchildren.

In fact it wasn't into the mid 2012 that I realised the full extent of the penetration and damage done.As it was before the 1990s the had the photo may be 1980s even, and my sisters were dealing with me as if nothing had happened, i visited and they visited and deceived me all the time for years...The Photo! was the one single tangible tool that could be misused, and they kept quiet about it, especially from me. In fact there was a complete difference in attitude with those who received it; And those that did not. So it did have an affect on the kids and grandkids particularly later unfortunately. The photo turned a rumour into a fact so to speak......

2. Interference, from outside the family especially by my misguided sister, Maureen Henrietta. As also she was not aware of the family dynamics and sibling relationships, influences and even rivalry. At first, on the contacts that I knew of, I didn't object as I had no idea an agenda was being played out. I really think that her ego told her she was 'doing good' and taking some kind of responsibility...Q Why there was so much dangerous interfering in my family -I don't know..

3.The oldest girl prematurely telling Heidi, Jean was not her real mother and the photo sent by my sister eventually backed it up....

4. The sending of photos, unbeknowns to me, ( although I had no objection to photos per se, and my children were adults and running their own race. Problem was there were younger ones in the firing line), by my sister to my kids, of their dead biological mother, some of whom, did not know or remember. So upsetting the blending and natural family situation, and interfering with the natural process of imprinting. The photos probably were sent to one of the older girls,or similar, and then of course were distributed to all the rest. ..so creating a focus or centre of concentration and a constant reminder, and even allowing an obsession, with a biological mother they never knew and that Annabelle was not their 'real' mother. We had not told them the whole story until they were old enough to understand it. This evidence was impossible to overcome except with Brigid Patricia, and a couple of others...It was an atom  bomb in the family....One girl, Heidi fact who was only four at the time her biological mother suicided and had no memories at all, tatooed her wrist with the name Rosetta and put a photo on the wall with a photo of Rosetta and Celia's gravestone, as  a shrine. So how could integration be re-established in that situation, and faced with such obsessive behaviour? It is a salient point that unlike two members of the family who named a child after Rosetta, Rosetta herself never did, as the people, grandparent and great grandparent, with that name in her family were all mentally ill, and that was outside of her tradition. Also bigger girls used them, the pics, to show the grandkids that grandma was not grandma as if that would help them, and so the knock on affect is still with us after all these years- One grandchild Michelle Marie called up crying as she had been told by her mother, Stella, that her grandmother had died and she assumed it was Jean. another has a picture up and she was too young to have a memory also...This again feeds into the grandma thing.

It wasn't about the photo as  Rosetta destroyed all pics before she died..It was about . Maureen  interfering and not letting me handle my own family, and the release of the photos myself...and she is still doing it-apparently!...the knock on affect was we perhaps lost grandchildren...There was also some catholic interference.

 I feel Rosetta estroyed the pics as she didn't want the kids mourning her forever, as had happened in her family with the mental illnesses and suicide of Uncle Jack; As she had no photos and said that she didn't want any, due to the result of the tragedy. I had a couple of conversations on the subject with her, and I didn't fully understand the dynamics in her family, but I did know her opinion on photos.

So knowing her, I am absolutely sure that she was trying to smooth the way for their lives and adjustment to new parents or carers;As she knew from observation, of her own grandmother and relatives, the progression of her disease, to early onset dementia, and she was paranoid about the  kids being taken away eventually.

. ..This makes the actions in sending the kids pics even worse and a terrible karmic interference....in the last wishes of Rosetta.

The photo  came from my other sister, Marie Therese, who gave it to Maureen Henrietta to send to the kids,  unknowingly, or perhaps rather unwittingly, or unthinkingly. Apparentlly it was done deliberately. I would have kept the photo at my house to control the viewing until I was confident of the situation, who was wanting to view and how it would be used.It is a sad commentary that the children who claimed they loved her couldn't respect her dying wishes and misused the photos to cause dissension and alienation. Even as late as summer 2012 the photos were compromising the grandchildren.Displaying the photo in front of the young grandchildren is not conducive to a united family.  I did not find out until too late how far the reaction to the photo had penetrated the family. In fact it had gone on for years without me realising.Therese refused to apologise for such interference....

Images imprint on the mind...the Buddhists call it 'counterpart sign'.After a while of looking at the same photo or image the mind takes it over and produces a better image, perfected in the mind..............Phoney gurus use this to get people to worship and attach to them..This is not in your psychology books it is meditation and yoga....This is why the photo was so dangerous and i knew that....Maureen should have let me control the viewing as she doesn't know any of my kids really, or their spouses she had never met...............just bad manners  that is all..apparently...I am not pissed for myself i don't care what my kids or anyone cares about me it is all ego anyway....but i care when Jean gets hurt. .  

Recently Brigid Patricia actually rebuffed her when she wrote to her and said she could communicate with her confidentially.....as Brigid felt. Maureen Henrietta was trying to undermine her mother Jean.

Some of the  other kids took Maureenn's contacts and commiserations as justification for their disruptive and damaging behaviour.I don't know why she felt that she had this right to interfere, although she did onetime tell me that as they were her nephews and nieces she had the right to interfere.

The strange thing is she didn't know us as I had left home at 17 and my kids only met her a couple of times when passing through Sydney en route Brisbane etc except when they were younger and we put her family up when they first came to Australia). 

The only thing I can say is that the children and grandchild Michelle Marie, who were causing problems all communicated with my sister at one time or another and used her name as justification. I think in herself she  believed that she was entitled to interfere and that it was a good thing, as far as she thought, even though she should have at least gone through me; As she didn't know the psychological condition of many of my children, or even their spouses, and their problems and it was not a normal situation; And apparently neither was her own state.I don't whether to be just pissed off or feel sorry for Maureen's obvious anxiety condition.

 I had named Celia  after her anyway, as I loved my sister in spite of her 'do gooding' interference and everything.M Henrietta DIED 24 -2-2020 IN IRELAND RIP.

'Fools rush in where angels fear to tread'. I have to think that Maureen has some anxiety neurosis, which seems to be genetic amongst females in my family, as my mother also suffered from it, and  problems otherwise it looks like a destructive attack to help destroy my family; Which in turn reflects her own special, internal experience and conflicted Catholic state.I had never done anything but help Maureen  and her family..(And even one time her husband Joe, returned the favour and helped me, when he arranged a loan to make up an air fare for me, which was paid back).

Later there was intervening with some of the kids who were in the 'repair shop', rather than let things take their course...but it is hard to overcome other people's egos.After Maureen died, my sister and apparently even by brother were continuing the interference although I had asked them not to...just be polite don't get involved or interfere.

"Do not try to understand!" guru in India said that people that do something 'wrong' should be put in the repair shop until they learn...That is how love works...
In other words 'forgiving and engaging then is no help to them and only causes a repetitive karma in future lives...People have to forgive themselves first…and that has to take its course without interventions/2018 was a great year I discovered my beautiful lost daughter Michelle of Florida, she is a blessing in the face of the negatives. I did not know she existed until she did a dna test. I had gone out with her mother in Miami, she was an Irish-American and worked in the Hotel...Where my business associates went after work in the late evening...WE DISCUSSED THE 1916 REBELLION AND OTHER THINGS AND HER FATHER WAS IRISH.HOWEVER UNLESS MY DAUGHTER HAD NOT INTERVENED AND MADE HERSELF UNPOPULAR THE INFORMATION WAS NOT INITIALLY GOING TO BE GIVEN TO ME...AS MY SISTER AND SIBLINGS WERE ALL SET ON KEEPING THE INFORMATION TO THEMSELVES AS IF THEY OWNED AND I HAD NO RIGHT...

( On a visit to Vancouver in the mid 90s .Maureen  visited us for a day....and she said words to the effect that things had not been that good between them-Jean and herself, which was news to Jean, as I kept most of the inteference secret not to hurt Jeanne).

Baiters:- Dr Phil.

1.Backstabbers,

2.Abusers,

3.Imposters,

4,Takers,

5.Exploiters,

6.Reckless People....( Arrogant, interferers and no remorse usually).

There was not one action taken by the troublesome ones in my family and children that was not egoistic self absorbed and selfish and there was not one act of love in the whole situation, just destructive jealousy, resentment, interference, ego and manipulation.

(In fact later on in the 2000s Stella's daughters were going to Australia for a visit and asked if I could organise it with her Brother Dan...So called Dan and told him and he said they were welcome, Tiani and Chelsea, but the cousins Siobhan Huttika and Michelle Marie were not as there had been some trouble with Siobhan taking Marnie to pubs when she was underage and of course the big blow up with Heidi..Unfortunately I was not fully informed and Stella blamed me for Dan not wanting to see the nieces, even though they had asked me to contact him..)

After initial shock of losing family members and grandchildren, which was contributed to by this photo and interference situation I thought of this by Jesus.

"Father forgive them/her/she for they know not what they do".....Jesus.

Being angry, as a response to ignorance just gives people a space in my head rent free, and it is all illusion and futility anyway

IN THE END SOME OF THE SIBLINGS TOOK THE FIGHTING DOWN TO THE GRANDCHILDREN LEVEL...THERE WAS A PARTY INVOLVED.

THE FUTILITY OF HUMAN EXISTENCE..

SPIRIT OPPRESSION AND INTEFERENCE IN DREAMS .

Sri Lakshmana Swamy said that a spirit can kill you with your own fear....And one has to remember as they are in thought they can affect the minds of the living especially in dreams..They are also desperate to recruit as many egos as possible as they have lost the battle of the Devas v the Asuras in the other part of the universe except this corner...Archangels v Fallen Angels or Demons..I personally have found that when in serious illness they seem to send dreams as part of this plan.. One must remember they had the audacity to tempt Jesus when \he was meditating and fasting in the wilderness....So anything they can do to prevent humans becoming realised they will do. T.

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS WAS A BELIAN ATTACK BUT JUST RESENTUL ATTENTION GETTER FROM A DECEASED NEAR RELATIVE .

Reminds me of a few months ago when i was woken up by a spirit pressing hard on me in bed...I awoke and saw a hag trying to oppress me, I was not afraid and it looked at me and left..Previous there had been two visits of the spirit touching my leg twice, at first I thought there was something the bed so pulled all the covers off, later she appeared herself in her burial clothes, a hat, a top and skirt all white..I remember Sri Lakshmana SWamy had a similar experience, so I opened my book on him and it fell open at the exact page. He repeated his mantra and it left...he was only 17 at the time..So decided to do the same in future...

This was a dead close relative, I feel so sorry for her for the after death situation she is in now....t

ALL MY LIFE MY GURU WAS SRI LAKSHMANA SWAMY AND HIS HAND AND PROTECTION WAS EVERYWHERE EVEN WITH SENDING JEAN TO CARRY US ALL THROUGH, HE PASSED MAHANIRVANA IN 27 FEBRUARY 2021 AND SRI MATHRU SARADA TOOK HIS PLACE SHE IS A MUKTA..

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Some interesting urls on depression...

http://www.understand-schizophrenia.com/borderline-schizophrenia.html

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Bipolar-Disorder/BP--Sexual-Promiscuity/show/706657
http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-disorder-symptoms-types
http://www.webmd.com/bipolar-disorder/guide/bipolar-disorder-symptoms-types